We will miss him forever!

Today was one of the hardest days I have had in a long time.  Today was the day we said our final goodbyes to our Sammy.  We adopted Sammy back in August 2004 and he fit into our family perfectly.  He was such a great dog, well trained and so laid back and easy going.  As we added kids to our family he become their protector and of course their friend.  He was a great big brother.  He loved to go for long hikes, he enjoyed swimming and more than anything he loved to sleep on the couch (even though he was not supposed to be on the furniture). In the past 6 months he has been by my side on those lonely nights after I put the kids to bed but couldn't fall asleep myself yet.  He would come downstairs and just lay on the floor by  me while I watched TV or played on the computer.   He also loved to lay in front on the heater in my office while I worked, especially when I was eating my lunch at my desk (he always knew mama would feed him some yummy if he starred at her long enough).  Over the past year Sammy started to slow down, developed more ear infections than ever before and started to develop many lumps on his body.  His entire face turned grey which really made it hard to deny his old age.  He seemed happy still but did start to show some pain.   I decided that I didn't want to see him suffer at all so we made the appointment to assist him in his passing to the better side.  My sister joined me in bringing him in today, I was prepared as well as I could be but it is still not easy to say those final goodbyes, to tell him what a good boy he was one last time.   I did bring home his collar and plan to print a canvas of him and hang his collar on it.

After I picked the boys up from school and we got home I knew I needed to tell them before they started to look for him.  I explained that I took Sammy to the vet and that he was in some pain and uncomfortable and that we decided it was best for him to go to Heaven where he run free and happy.  Colton immediately broke into tears and I felt so guilty.  I couldn't believe what I had taken from him, this was his buddy and now he was gone.   After lots of talking and hugging and crying together Colton and I both decided that we are happy that he is pain free and we will get through this together.  We also decided that we will do some fostering of dogs in the future as our way to honor Sampson.  Colton is such an amazing kid, he has handled this better than I could have ever imagine, makes me such a proud mama. 

One cool this we did find out today is what kind of dog Sammy was.  When we adopted him we were told he was a black lab mix but we didn't know what he was mixed with.  Well the vet today scanned his microchip and then had to call just to be sure he was registered to me (kinda weird, not like I would steal a dog and then pay to put it down).  Well when she called she was told that he was registered to me and before that was registered with the American Kennel Club.  Yup, we owned a registered Purebred dog and didn't even know it.  Sammy was a purebred British Labrador.  Kinda cool to find out his breed, even if it was at the very end of his life with us.  We love you Sammy.  You were an amazing big brother, amazing companion, amazing protector and such a loving sweetheart.  We will miss you forever.  

My Valentine's

I have never been one to get into the Valentine holiday but for some reason I decided to have a little fun with it this year.   As it was predicted to be one of the coldest Valentine's Day in over 40 years I planned to spend the entire day at home with my boys.  I planned out some fun meals and things for us to do to make the day special. 

Last night I put a few Valentine Treats on the table for the boys and then crawled in bed so I would be well rested for our day of fun!

The boys were both awake before 8am, I really need to train them to sleep in on the weekends!  We lounged on the couch for a while watching cartoons and then they finally decided it was time for breakfast.  Mason of course helped me cook, he loves to help in the kitchen.  We had pancakes (complete with sprinkles and mini chocolate chips), scrambled eggs and sausage links!

After breakfast we did baths/showers and then spent some time playing with some of our favorite toys.  We even managed to squeeze in a little house cleaning too!

The morning went fast and before we knew it, it was lunch time!  We made personalized sized heart shaped pizzas!  The boys loved making these (although I think they ate more pepperonis than they put on the pizzas!

 After lunch we lounged around for a little while and then decided it was time to build some Lego's!  Mason worked on his own creation while Colton decided to work on one of the Lego set he got for Christmas.  Colton worked on that set for almost 2 hours but he got it done.  He was so proud, he did almost completely by himself (I only assisted with the couple stickers and a few other small pieces!

 

 My friend Angela decided to join us for dinner and our fun evening activites.  First thing we got her involved in was Jello Jigglers!  I haven't made these since I was little.  Mason is a jello fanatic so I figured this might be fun and I was right, he thought it was the greatest!  

 Dinner was spaghetti and meatballs!  I mean really, doesn't get much better than this does it!

 After dinner we all headed to the family room for some friendly Nintendo competition.  Angela and I used to play endless games of Tetris in college so it only seemed appropriate that we start with that game.  Colton watched the first couple rounds and then decided he was ready to challenge one of us.  He caught on quite quickly and I have feeling with a enough practice he might give me a good run for my money!  I better work on my Tetris skills, I see sleepless nights in my future.  We ended our night with some fresh baked chocolate chip cookies and a movie/slumber party in the family room.  Movie of choice: Horton Hears a Who!

This Valentines Day was one of the best I have had in a long time.  We never left the house, we spent time just playing together, enjoyed not being on a schedule, soaked in many snuggles (and kisses, my Mason still loves kisses from his mama), and consumed some delicious meals and snacks.  I know that there will come a time when my boys will have their own Valentine's plans that don't involved mom being their date so I made the most of this time while I had it.  Now I sit here, blogging about our day while both boys are fast asleep on the floor in front of me.  I don't think it can get much better than this :)  Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

Polar Cubs Camp

Well another fun Cub Scout adventure is complete.  On Sunday, Colton and I went to Polar Cubs Camp.  This is an outdoor winter day camp.  I have to admit I was nervous as I knew we would be outside for 6 hours straight and didn't know if either of us would last.  Well nothing to worry about, the weather was perfect and we had a blast!  The camp started at 9am promptly with a flag ceremony and then we broke into smaller groups and were assigned a camp counselor, we were assigned to "Yetti" for the day.  The camp was extremely organized and ran like a well oiled machine.  They had all kinds of stations set up and we rotated every half hour.  We enjoyed activities such as Capture the Flag, Snow Tubing, Dodge Ball, Kickball, an epic game of Snow Ball (this was the scout's favorite, the parents were pretty much dying by the end of this game), one short indoor craft, a campfire with hot chocolate and joke telling, snow fort building and of course we enjoyed lunch together in the mess hall.   The 6 hour camp went really fast, we never had time to get bored which was awesome and by the time we left everyone was ready for a nap!  I didn't carry my camera as I planned to join in the activities but I did have my phone on me and managed to snap a few pictures throughout the day.  

 6 of the 9 boys in my den were able to make the camp, way to represent our Pack boys!

Poster Child

Last Fall Mason went to work with Daddy for an afternoon photo shoot.  Frankie said Mason did great and of course all the ladies loved him.  Over the past couple months Mason has been the poster child of the MN Zoo!  Posters about healthy eating as well as supporting gardening/local farmers!

The previous pictures that were used were of Mason alone with fruits and veggies or Mason with the chef at the MN Zoo but this poster went up last month.... I guess Mason has to share the spotlight with Daddy for a while.  So proud of my boys and just had to share it with everyone!

Sorry for bad image but you get the idea!

What is my Legacy?

So I have nights when I am sitting at home with my two beautiful boys and yet I feel so alone.  I hear my boys playing in the other room and I smile because I am so blessed to have them in my life yet I sit there feeling alone.  And then I start to feel guilty, how can I possibly feel alone when I have two boys full of energy in the other room.  Well these lonely nights come and go and the other night I was experiencing the feelings again, I knew I didn't want to let my boys see my crying (which is how I usually get through the moments) so I hopped on Facebook to see if I could find someone to chat with.  My mom was online so we started to talk in an effort to distract me from these stupid feelings.  Then all of a sudden a message popped up form a friend, a friend who I haven't talked to much in the last year just due to our busy life schedules.   This is what her message said:

Hey Mandy, I have to tell you...I dreamed about you last night. Totally not trying to be creepy, but I saw you have had a rough 2014 and I had a shitty 2013 into the first part of 2014, hopefully things will turn around for you like they did me. I almost lost everything I loved, maybe someday we'll have drinks and laugh. Anyways, so the dream...we we're on a plane to Vegas in first class. We had to go to a convention to sell Hartford policies. On the plane we sat next to this older lady (think 90). I had never seem her before but the thing that stood out was this flower pin she was wearing ( haven't figured that out yet). She looked at you and said "we are defined by the legacy we leave in the hearts of our children" and looked at me and said "the impact you have on others are defined by the comfort you show them in their time of need" IT was SO VIVID and it's stuck with me all day. I don't know if it is a message to you or me or what, but I thought I would pass it along in case its meant for you.

I guess someone is watching out for me and knew what I was needing to hear at that very moment. This also got me doing a lot of thinking.  What is my legacy that I will leave behind.  My life ins't everything I hoped it would be and I am dealing with some pain, hurt, anger and loss but I am also blessed with two amazing children and starting that day I promised myself I would do everything I could to provide a great legacy for them.  My legacy may not be one of great wealth/fortune but it will be one of love, understanding, compassion, good times and memories that I hope will carry my boys well into their old age.  I know I am not a perfect mom, I am not a perfect friend nor a perfect spouse but I am working hard to change my focus in life from materialistic things to making memories with those who mean the most to me.  No one will care about the items we purchased however they will never forget the time when we did something to make them feel special or spent the extra time to just listen or the night of snuggles and long conversations (my boys love our slumber parties more than anything lately and that is not something we used to do in the past at all).   I guess I will continue to work on leaving an amazing legacy in the hearts of my boys.

I am convinced that the greatest legacy we can leave our children are happy memories: those precious moments so much like pebbles on the beach that are plucked from the white sand and placed in tiny boxes that lay undisturbed on tall shelves until one day they spill out and time repeats itself, with joy and sweet sadness, in the child now an adult.  ~ Og Mandino